When Your Inner Mean Girl Gathers Her Posse
When Your Inner Mean Girl Gathers Her Posse
Why the voices telling you to stay quiet, stay small, and stay safe get so loud when you try something new.
Have you ever wanted to start something new—a book, a podcast, a Bible study, a business, a ministry, or another dream you’ve carried for years—only to find that your inner critic suddenly has a lot to say?
Who do you think you are? What if you fail? What if you don’t know enough? What if someone else could do it better?
Sometimes the moment we begin moving toward something that matters to us, the negative self-talk gets louder. Fear of failure, self-doubt, old patterns, and painful memories can create so much noise that we begin to wonder why we feel stuck. Before long, the dream gets tucked away again with a familiar promise: Maybe someday.
In this episode, I’m taking you with me on the gravel roads near my Iowa home, where some very protective mama killdeers helped me notice something about my own internal warning system. We’ll talk about why your inner critic can get especially loud when you’re doing something new, how old experiences can shape the patterns we carry into the present, and why the question “What happens inside me when I try?” may be more helpful than asking, “Why can’t I just do this?”
I’ll also share a story from my own childhood about the mean girls who taught me to stay quiet, stay small, and stay safe—and how that old pattern can still gather its posse when I step into uncertainty today.
But this isn’t an episode about defeating your brain, silencing every negative thought, or trying harder to think positively. It’s an invitation to notice what gets loud inside you and carry those words with you to the foot of the cross.
What does your inner mean girl say when you try?
I’m too late.
I’m not good enough.
I don’t know what I’m doing.
Someone else could do this better.
I never finish anything.
Who do I think I am?
You don’t have to argue with every thought until you win. You don’t have to silence every siren before you move forward. You can bring the fear, the self-doubt, the questions, and the whole noisy posse to Jesus.
Because your inner critic does not get to tell you who you are.
Your project does not get to tell you who you are.
Your progress and productivity do not get to tell you who you are.
Jesus does.
In this episode, we’ll sit together with the prayer of Psalm 139: “Search me, O God, and know my heart... and lead me in the way everlasting.”
Search me. Know me. Lead me.
You don’t have to figure out the whole road ahead. You can bring what you’re carrying to Jesus, remember what is true because of Him, and ask one simple question:
Jesus, what is one faithful step You are inviting me to take today?
In this episode, we’ll talk about:
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Why your inner critic and negative self-talk may get louder when you try something new
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How fear of failure and self-doubt can keep a meaningful dream stuck in “someday”
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Why old experiences can create patterns of staying quiet, staying small, and staying safe
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A gentler coaching question to ask when you feel stuck or keep procrastinating
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How to notice the thoughts that surface when you move toward something that matters
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Why you don’t have to fight with every thought or silence every fear before coming to Jesus
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What it looks like to carry your inner critic’s words to the foot of the cross
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How remembering your identity in Christ changes the place from which you take your next step
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How to move forward with one faithful step, even when you still feel uncertain
A question to carry with you:
What happens inside me when I try?
And then:
What does my inner mean girl say when I do?
Write down the sentence that gets the loudest. Bring it honestly to Jesus. You don’t need a polished prayer. You can simply say:
“Lord, this is what gets loud when I try.”
Then sit with Him for a while.
Do you have a someday project?
Maybe it’s a book you’ve always wanted to write, a podcast you’ve dreamed of starting, a Bible study tucked inside a notebook, a business, a ministry, or a message you’ve carried quietly for years.
If you keep wondering why you can’t seem to begin—or begin again—I created The Someday Project Companion Guide for you.
This free Christian guide isn’t another ten-step plan or another person telling you to try harder. It is a gentle place to take your someday project to the foot of the cross, sit with Jesus for a while, remember God’s faithfulness, and ask Him for one faithful step.
Get your free copy of The Someday Project Companion Guide here:
Bring the dream.
Bring the questions.
Bring the racket.
And come sit with Jesus for a while.
Because someday may not be on the calendar. But today is.
Scripture mentioned in this episode
Psalm 139:23–24
“Search me, O God, and know my heart... and lead me in the way everlasting.”
